I’ve always been envious of people who can keep up with having lots and lots of acquaintances, I imagine it would be great to be able to pick and choose which friend to make plans with and fill up a calender with a different friend for each day of the week. As for me, I’m either not gregarious enough or maybe just incapable of multi-tasking.

To this end, I have one friend (other than my husband, but he doesn’t count). Vicky has been my friend since school, I guess since about 1994.

We’re couldn’t really be more different.

She loves camping and the outdoors life. I’d rather pluck my eyebrows with a pair of pliers.
She works as a carer in an old people’s home… I tried that job once and lasted 2 days.
She doesn’t really ‘get on’ with technology… I’d literally shrivel up without 24hr intravenous access to broadband.
She’s got a string of cub scouts that look up to her… If it were me, I’d take the cub scouts out into the woods and leave them there.

Despite all these differences, we seem to find a common ground most of the time, but there’s one thing about her that really chaps my ass.

I’ve simply never known anyone over the age of 25 with more beautiful skin. Oh, the bitch tans fantastically too.

No portraiture, no cloning, no healing, no nothing. I’m rethinking this whole ‘friend’ thing now.